why does it matter if someone’s room isn’t clean
like it’s their own personal living space
if they want it messy and they’re comfortable with that then let them keep it like that it’s not your room and there’s this thing called a door that prevents you from having to see it so unless you’re going to go out of your way to spend your own time living in there calm down martha stuart
When they make a black widow movie, the trailer needs to be all mysterious and the song playing needs to be Scarlett Johansson singing a lullaby cover of the itsy bitsy spider
I need this in my life
That sounds fucking terrifying.
The lullaby should be in Russian.
This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
[AGGRESSIVELY APOLOGIZES FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND AND AN UNPLEASANT PERSON TO BE AROUND]